The aftermath - OrangeK

[OrangeK]

And being honest. There is still a part of me that wants to do her this favor in the hopes that it will make her think better of me and then I have to remind myself that that is emotional thinking not logical thinking. It's astonishing to me at this point did I still have to remind myself of the reality of the situation after the fact. It's still so easy to have my mind to go to pleasant memories as opposed to all of the bad ones despite the fact that the latter now far outweighs the former. This is the true lingering power of love-bombing and emotional manipulation although my relationship with Mary was not a healthy decision in hindsight it did at least keep the thoughts and feelings of inadequacy and loneliness at Bay while it lasted. Having resolved to spend time by myself on myself, has proven to put some of my old hurdles back in my path. However now I am equipped with the power of a clear mind and a hell of a lot of hindsight. the difference between emotional and logical thinking truly amazes me and it's astonishing how the mind can self-sabotage itself just to get what it wants as opposed to what it needs. I appreciate all of your input, and I thank you all for helping me keep my head on my shoulders and out of the clouds