I think ginger’s Boyfriend has it right. We like to hear things about how beautiful we are inside and out. How we are appreciated for both our looks and brains.
Now Dr was the leaver of her marriage. But I think for most women having your husband leave you when your “past your prime” is really hard. I’m pissed that I wasted my youth and beauty and reproductive years on my ex husband. And I think maybe all those cosmetic procedures are some sort of crises or way to cling on to youth. I’m not gonna judge her. Cause if I had the means, I don’t know if I would try cosmetic enhancements. It’s tempting. But overdone it looks fake and ugly. But it’s also a society issue.
J - I think you are very sensitive with Doctor and it’s nice to hear that you care about making her feel good and confident about herself. You are focused on building her up and that’s a really sweet and healthy way to approach a relationship.
I loved hearing KML and Dawn and Gingers comments though. I feel upset about aging. But I also wonder if by not drastically altering your looks a women can ensure that she will attract men that are more realistic about women their age. Men that connect more by a women’s character, and shared interests and sense of humor. Men that will love them even if they get sick or gain weight. For men, its synonymous to a girl that dates you cause of the car you drive. What happens if he loses his car? Like it’s a way to weed out narcissist or superficial people.
Now obviously, there has to be an element of physical attraction. But it’s sad that these cosmetic alternative skew the normal curve. And presents an unrealistic norm. So it also annoys me when women can do that.
For me cosmetic surgery is a red flag. I like women as natural as I can get them. I think if you want to improve yourself then you should put in the work. No short cuts or cheat codes. Eat right, sleep right, exercise, dress nice, take care of yourself mentally, physically and spiritually. If this is potentially insecurity and/or a fear of ageing then those red flags or at least yellow flags should make you situation aware. I mean Vaginoplasty? Why? Just because you can? I get that everyone especially as they get older are bound to carry baggage, but if anything you should keep the pace slow. Just from what you have posted in the past it sounds like she may be the one to try and push the pace. From what you describe she sounds pretty great, just keep your head on a swivel.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
I'm on the fence about body modification of any sort including tattoos and piercings or being extra toned / fit. I have a pierced ear and a couple of tattoos myself. Too much, and it to me cries out "insecure". I suppose it comes down to a person's sense of self-worth. Is it tied up in WHO they are as opposed to WHAT they are.
Their need for validation I suppose comes from how they look at themselves. I'd much rather be told - "hey - that's a nice thing you did thank you" rather than "your beer belly is looking extra lush tonight darling"
Others may have different views. It's perhaps a variation of the old "love languages" thing - what words or actions can be help your partner feel good about themselves, the giver of such things and the relationship between them.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Her love languages are quality time and physical touch. I would definitely agree with physical touch!
I normally like my ladies very natural as well, minimal make up, etc. The Dr. doesn't wear a lot of make up so that is cool. I am very much a face person then work my way down to the rest of the body. If you face is jacked then it is an immediate deal breaker. Boobs....whatever. Even if they are slightly overweight or have some curves that doesn't matter as long as like her face.
TBH some times the Dr's lips are a little much, they remind me of Angelina Jolie or the Octo Mom's lips. In the right setting though they can be pretty amazing.
I am ok with the cosmetic stuff. A lot of women have boob jobs these days, Botox for migranes ok I guess I can get behind that. The J J is laughable but nice if you know what I mean and the lips could be not as full so that is interesting. Spray tanning, a lot of people do. Cool sculpting I could care less about that.
I didn't realize that big fake boobs and bleach blond hair were "natural". Who knew? LOL You crack me up! Yet again, I'm feeling like I missed a day of girl school because I don't fall into the "a lot of women...." category of those who have fake boobs or spray tan. God gave me enough naturally and I'm a big wimp when it comes to pain and needles, so even if He didn't, no d@mn way would I have surgery to get them. And, as far as spray tans, I get my farmer tan going in the summer and I'm good with that. I have two "speeds" when it comes to tanning: Casper and lobster. Not really much in between. LOL
In all seriousness, though, I do think the Dr. sounds lovely and I like that you are trying so hard to be sure she feels comfortable and secure. That's a good thing!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
You know, the JJ thing may not be as extreme as people are thinking. You mentioned she had a machine. There is a machine (medical device) that basically is a treatment for vaginal atrophy (thinning skin inside), it's not surgery, and since she is providing that care to patients, she may have just tried it so she knew what the process was like.
That is part of it.....she personally paid $75k for the machine, she owns it. She bought it as an investment opportunity and it is located in the Medspa. They told her they would be able to sell treatments and she would get 1/2 of the sales. She goes to all of their events and talks to potential clients that would use their services.
I think that was her original intent but has found the she likes it. I guess she only has to pay for the tip which is $500.
