Not Sure Where This Is Going

[Niall11]

Yesterday, what a day.

A week or two back an older couple we've known for years invited us to a jazz concert for last night. To my surprise W said it sounded fun and replied affirmatively to the gentleman the very same day.

Not to my surprise, W then started hedging and saying it depended on finding someone to watch D2. She then didn't even bother to ask her mom or sister, and shot down every suggestion offered. These people even offered their daughter, who's 25 and has plenty of experience babysitting. W kept saying our D2 isn't good with people she doesn't know. Which is true, but we've discussed multiple times trying to get her around more people to fix that.

W does not seem to understand that you don't accept an invitation to something that costs money unless you are sure you are going, and you don't let people know that you're not going three hours before the event. She has done this multiple times.

Last fall a lady in our neighborhood (who let W's parents stay in her house for over a month when our D2 was born) had a 75th birthday party. W kept refusing to commit. They kept asking if we were coming. Eventually I said yes, since there were no tickets or per-person cost involved, and prepared to make an excuse for W (something I've been doing for at least 5 years). Three days before the party W announced wanted to do a dance class that night with her original BFF and was furious that I reminded her of the commitment to the party. In the end she skipped the dance class but refused to attend the party, sulking at home instead. This is the same W who's spent the entire time I've known her complaining that people her age make plans and don't keep them.

So three straight days of her avoiding messages from this guy about the concert that she accepted an invitation to. Then yesterday morning she called me because her tire went very low on the way to work. She needed instructions on how to call AAA, etc. Then she couldn't find her iPhone. She still owes five months of payments on the original one that was broken and Apple replaced just last Friday. Ultimately she had a coworker put the donut on the car and found the phone in the trunk, where she'd put it when looking for the spare in the morning.

Then she wanted to go out with coworkers because "it's been a rough day." I said the people were coming to pick me up at 6:30 for the concert and she was somehow shocked that I was still going without her. And annoyed that she'd have to come home to watch D2.

I went to the concert (front row!) and had a great time! But I'm annoyed at her behavior and wonder why I ever thought she'd honor the commitment. It's brought back a lot of memories of her lack of social consideration. If it weren't for D2 I'd be fine right now with not seeing W for a long, long time.