Not going to read too much into it, but H hugged me for the first time in weeks this morning.

H began a conversation about my weight. He said although it was none of his business, he was wondering how much I weigh. As we are both fairly fit, and fitness has always been a common interest, he is aware of my typical weight. I have lost 15 lbs since Feb. and am thinner than I have ever been in my adult life. He continued to offer suggestions of what I could do to put some weight back on. It came from a place of concern and he ended the conversation with, "I know this is my fault."

Before he left for work he came up to me and said, "I want you to know that this came from a place of concern." and he patted me on the shoulder. He continued, "You are still beautiful. You are beautiful and amazing. I want you to know that." He grabbed me and hugged me, rubbing my back, and continued to tell me how beautiful I was.

We have hugged in recent weeks, but this was different. He initiated it and it was genuine. I am not reading into it other than maybe a little bit of progress. Perhaps it was out of guilt, but I feel like that is ok. He is showing genuine concern for me and admitting to how his actions have impacted me. I think this is progress for out relationship- no matter what R looks like at this point.

Day to day conversation continues to be difficult because it feels so natural, so normal. H made a comment about a house that was featured on the news this morning. It was on the water, something we have always dreamed of, he said he wondered if the house was for sale. Then he said something about how he was just trying to make a joke (it was a crime scene) it just came out without thinking. I think as we engage in "normal" routine things we both forget for a moment. I'm sure this is normal, especially after so many years together.

Continuing with GAL. The gym has been a huge help. This has always been something I loved to do and I have neglected over the last 6+ months. It is H's former gym so he knows many people there, so his interest is in who was there, who's teaching classes, etc. Again, not reading into anything right now. This is helping me become stronger in mind and body.