Well had the longest R talk yet. I have been DBing quite well in my opinion and have removed all pressure and I mean all. Have been getting a life. Haven’t snooped in like 2 weeks (lol I know not that long) and don’t have any urge to snoop because I know it won’t do any good.
Anyway my W came home after work, I was watching my son while cleaning some stuff in the kitchen. (House cleaning a big 180 for me). Wasn’t hoping she would come home to this 180 was just doing it as part of the new me.
W comes into the kitchen and begins small talk about the high temperature today. We talk pleasantly for a few minutes and joke around a little. Next she says that we should talk about our agreement related to child care and child support. We have come to an agreement on who will get our son on what days.
When it came to the child support we had previously decided on $800 a month. $500 for child care and $300 for food, formula, bottles etc. Today I brought up that I am started to pay his health insurance through my work. We discussed this for a few minutes and she agree that I would only pay her $700 because I was paying for his insurance.
I asked her why she was agreeing so easily when she previously wanted $800. She replied that she just wanted us to be able to agree without going to court. She then went on to say that she wants us to get along and do family things in the future? I validated and agreed that I wanted what was best for our son. She then said that she knew she was gonna hate me at some point. I asked her what she meant by this and she said when you get a new girlfriend.
I didn’t ask anything more as it was her R talk and I wanted to see where this was going. She continued to ask me what I was going to do on my first weekend without our son. She then said “I bet your gonna go out drinking and hookup with a bunch of girls”. Someone gave me a great response to questions like this but in the moment I just said I’m not sure. I kinda like keeping her guessing on where my heads at for some reason.
Next she asked me if I would still wear my ring. I responded by asking if she would wear hers. She said probably not. She then asked again if I had seen a lawyer or filed divorce. I said no. She then said that she hasn’t even thought about divorce yet and is just worried about how we will handle our son. She then said something along the lines of maybe we just need a break.
Not sure if she is having doubts or if she is just trying to temp check me. Either way it seems like I am a backup plan right now and I’m not really down with that. I didn’t really respond to her question and just said maybe without emotion. She then went on to say something along the lines of I’m so pretty dont you think I’m pretty? This felt like another temp check so I didn’t really respond.
So yeah that’s where we are at. I’ve been getting temp checked a ton it feels like. From her playing footsy with me, to her waking around naked, pulling up her dress and showing me her underwear and asking if I think she’s pretty. I have done exceptionally well in my responding and have shown no interest.
I read in another thread that WAW won’t leave until they have another branch to jump to. Sure feels as if she is trying to keep me around as a back up with all these temp checks. I know I don’t deserve to be a back up plan and don’t know if I’m even gonna want to take her back. Guess we will see what happens.
