Her sister told me it was $15000 in credit card debt. As far as I know she is trying to take responsibility for it. She went to the bank, my guess to get a loan to consolidate. She admitted to me about spending too much but tried to excuse it with lack of funds.
I know my post makes things seem terrible but some things have improved.
99% certain affair is over She has stopped drinking excessively She is seeing a dr and therapist She recognizes the $ issue and is paying me each month for some bills She recognizes that she is going through a transition She recognizes she has internal issues that need resolving She is reading books on self help and menopause She treats me with kindness but we rarely interact/speak now which hurts She is trying to reconnect with her sister and mother She has put away the dark poetry books Her last book had nothing to do with relationships where the previous ones were all about passion and soulmates and choosing your own life
I personally have done my best to back off and give her space, I try to follow Sandi rules In the last 3 months since BD we have had 3-4 relationship talks which of course shucked. The last one was 2 weeks ago, I've been going hard with Sandi rules and plan to do this moving forward. I WILL NOT ENGAGE. I am working out like crazy and am in best shape of life. I spend all my energy on my kids since she has withdrawn mostly I no longer have anxious depressed movements, it's almost like I'm numb to it
The hardest thing to not think about is we were a couple that hugged, said I love you, sex etc. In January. Now it's completely gone, vanished in an instant at least for me. She will say that she was just trying to keep things going. Of course that hurt.
