She already abused the credit cards the last 3 years. She is serious debt, was spending kids account and I had no idea.
SHE is in serious debt? Are you sure it's not YOU are in serious debt? Debts incurred during the course of the marriage are usually joint - are you sure how your state views this? Just because the credit cards are in her name (if they are) doesn't mean you might not be liable for some of the debt in a divorce (she could claim, for instance, that the debts were run up buying things for the family etc.) You really DO need to consult an attorney, just to see where you stand and how to protect yourself financially.
This is what is known as "financial infidelity" and it can be just as damaging as the other kind. I'm surprised you didn't mention this in your first post. What are YOU doing to make sure this debt doesn't sink you too?
Has your wife been on any medication? Did she by any chance have gastric bypass surgery? Just a heads up that addictive behaviors can be triggered by some medical conditions, as well as depression.
She sounds like a classic MLC setup - mom's near-death experience, she hits 40 - perfect for wondering "is this all there is?" and looking for outside things to relieve her depression (like shopping and affairs).
