New to this - need to talk

[job]

Emotional affairs are more difficult to break than physical ones because they relate to each other more so "emotionally". Yes, you did play a power parenting card. You came across as the parent/authority figure and she definitely resented that move on your part. After all, you are not her father, but I do understand why you made the move.

Here's what I think we happen. She will continue her contact w/the other person secretly and will not disclose what she's doing to you. The more you try to end the affair, the more determine she will be to find ways around you and your actions to get what she wants.

Your wife was already moving into the area of the BD when you discovered the emotional affair. They usually have a trigger 18-24 months prior to the BD and they begin to slowly move into the crisis and once the crisis hits, there is nothing you can do to stop it. She will have to go through the entire crisis to get to the other side. Of course, you can attempt to snatch her out of the crisis, but she will return to it and it will be far worse the next time around.

You will need to step back, give her plenty of space and time to figure things out. Just remember, the more you attempt to get her to see the light, the more determined she will be to do the exact opposite. Right now, you are the authority figure to her child/teenage self.

Keep a close eye on your finances, i.e., checking/saving accounts and credit cards. You might even want to go as far as doing a credit history check.

Keep the focus on you as much as possible. Dig deeper for patience because this is not a sprint, but a very long, difficult marathon.