I know the investment of detaching will pay off in the long run EITHER way. I love fitness, it's great to dig back into it. And my kids (5,7 and 8) will be devastated for us to split but they are very sure of my love for them. So while confusing they will be good.
Last night was interesting. My wife got all bent out of shape that I didn't call her that I was coming home early to get one of our kiddos to his Kindergarten meet-and-greet. While what I was doing was buying groceries for the kids that she quite frankly has the time to know and buy during her day.
She asked if I was mad when I got home about the divorce meeting. I said no, I wanted her to be happy.
She kept poking and prodding to see if I was mad. Asked if being on her phone made me mad. Told her she didn't need to run that by me, that was her business. Asked if I was mad that she was watching her own show, I didn't flinch.
This morning when i took the kids to school, I turned to walk away from what used to be a hug and kiss and she screamed out "Love You Daddy..." which she kept saying until I replied. So she is still wanting to keep me around to enjoy her cake.
This is gonna be a tough road. I'm very resentful that she is taking her sweet time to find a full time job so she can afford to divorce me.
This is a good deal for her.
I can't wait to get to the gym today, looking forward to doing a goals board for myself, looking forward to getting for coffee and prayer. With my emotions so wacked out over this, I need Heaven's perspective.
So many similarities to my sitch! Right down to shouting "love you" as I was leaving for work.
I do not mean to give you false hope, but my SAHM wife also was going to get a job, get an apartment and D me. When I told her the only way we could stay together was through full transparency (BTW, I do not recommend that approach) she started working on her resume in earnest. But the very next day, she came out weepy, saying she didn't want to want to D, that she knew God hated D. I was like you, I remained unflinching in telling her she had to do what made HER happy. If that meant getting a job and leaving me, so be it. She never finished her resume.
Do not assume she will follow through on any of this. Just keep DBing. Great job on not taking her "are you mad" bait. Been there and I know how hard that can be. Listen. Validate.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
