I know the investment of detaching will pay off in the long run EITHER way. I love fitness, it's great to dig back into it. And my kids (5,7 and 8) will be devastated for us to split but they are very sure of my love for them. So while confusing they will be good.
Last night was interesting. My wife got all bent out of shape that I didn't call her that I was coming home early to get one of our kiddos to his Kindergarten meet-and-greet. While what I was doing was buying groceries for the kids that she quite frankly has the time to know and buy during her day.
She asked if I was mad when I got home about the divorce meeting. I said no, I wanted her to be happy.
She kept poking and prodding to see if I was mad. Asked if being on her phone made me mad. Told her she didn't need to run that by me, that was her business. Asked if I was mad that she was watching her own show, I didn't flinch.
This morning when i took the kids to school, I turned to walk away from what used to be a hug and kiss and she screamed out "Love You Daddy..." which she kept saying until I replied. So she is still wanting to keep me around to enjoy her cake.
This is gonna be a tough road. I'm very resentful that she is taking her sweet time to find a full time job so she can afford to divorce me.
This is a good deal for her.
I can't wait to get to the gym today, looking forward to doing a goals board for myself, looking forward to getting for coffee and prayer. With my emotions so wacked out over this, I need Heaven's perspective.
H46 W38 M12 T15 D8,S7,S5
11/12/17 "I don't want to be married like this" A began 7/12/18 Confessed A 10/1/19 EA still happening with 2 4/23/19 "I want a D, but I want to stay until I find a job"
