Yes you're right, ok Dilly 2.0 is not warning him. No more tiptoeing around him and his anger, I will be assertive (but also prepare some assertive responses as you suggested, being assertive isn't that easy for me though with other people I have been MUCH better lately). I'm looking forward to a chance to practice actually. I messed up badly being assertive over Easter. My IC pointed out something which happened where it was apparent dh was really behaving unreasonably and pushing all my buttons, I started out with an assertive response and then didn't STICK with it. I should have stuck with it, instead I let him push my buttons and flew off the handle and then withdrew.
So how about 'If you're looking for any of your clothes which were in the front bedroom, they're now in the understairs cupboard. Feel free to take some of them back with you if you like'
