OK, so don't be so sure about separation being any easier, believe me. Just because they're not in the house doesn't mean they're not in your head! Luckily the same applies to them as well, they don't forget you just because they live elsewhere. And how interesting that you have that same desire to get away, to make a fresh start, to get away from the pain etc that your W has. So maybe you have more empathy than you think??
Those four people sound very familiar to me, another way I heard it discussed recently is that the grown up you should be in the driver's seat. The children, all those sad, mad voices are allowed to sit in the car, but they're not allowed to drive. Because they shouldn't be allowed to be in charge. You can talk to them, listen to them, acknowledge them and care for them and their feelings, but you're still in the driver's seat. I like the journalling idea, let us know how it goes.
It was mother's day here recently and my dh came back and we went to lunch with the kids. It was nice, neither of us had any expectations but it was good to just get together with family. I think you should probably do it, and celebrate together. Celebrations are important even when life is going horribly wrong. Other opinions are available.
