I didn’t take the comments people wrote as criticizing you for meeting up with new boyfriend. More of making a statement about how that would not work for them personally.
I didn’t wait till after I received my divorce papers to date. My ex had physically left in 2015. The marriage was over. Even after things were filed it took a very long time to actually have the judge sign them.
In hindsight, I didn’t follow red flags or know my worth because I dated too soon after trauma, gaslighting, rejection etc. I used it more as an ego boost I think and I was proving what a great and loyal partner I was to people that didn’t deserve me as a great and loyal partner. I took my ex husbands stated reasons to heart (that I was negative and verbally abusive and I only bought him gift certificates to a car wash for Father’s Day) and tried to be perfect and accepting and non critical and generous. But husbands actions deserved questioning!!!!! And so did the new guy I dated.
My values in seeking someone were also skewed. In my mind, guys that were left behind were the good guys and I didn’t look at stuff I would never have accepted in other phases of my life.
I’m always curious about the people that go for our exes. Seriously. Wouldn’t they do a bit more background work? Like do they just take the whole “ my wife and I are both good people. We just made each other miserable” without questioning the luxury car and minimal visits with son? Or “why did she end a relationship with young kids and a spouse that wasn’t cheating or abusive?”. They don’t seem to look into that. Like her new bf. He met you. Sees that your a god guy. But doesn’t question, hey why did she end that with a good guy. What’s the bigger pic.? He seems ok with the kids, but maybe not very secure or bright? A bit desperate?
