I tend to agree with you that not every situation is so black and white, and you know your world better than any of us do. I do think the framework of keeping some of the "rules" of DB in the front of your mind does help though, especially during this early learning phase. Later on when you're much more calm and truly more detached you can look at whether being so "rigid" is best for you. But right now you're very close to the situation.
Emotions are high. We get that. So taking a step back and saying less will likely be a good way forward.
Remember that if you don't know what to do - doing nothing (and SAYING nothing) is a valid option. It doesn't feel natural at first. If I might offer one suggestion of something to work on, this would be it. Say less.
I think the space will continue to help you. I hope it does.
