H just came in the room to tell me about his day. Then the conversation turned. He said he is confused. That I am hot and cold. We are on a rollercoaster. He said, "A few days ago I thought I was going to have to find an apartment, and then that night we sat on the couch together and you even touched my foot at one point, and then the next day, poof, you were off doing your own thing."
He said he understands and I have every right to feel and act this way. He went on.... I did my best not to engage in the R conversation. I responded with lots of, "I understand why you feel that way." As I got up to walk away he asked if I had anything to say, what did I want? I simply responded with you know what I want. I probably should have kept my mouth shut, because he does know....
He continued to say things are so up and down, they seem like they are good, then I go cold. He said he wishes I would either be angry, or ok and things could be good. But he understands, I have every right.....But we can not sustain this.
He talked about taking out $ from retirement to find a place if he had to (I will not let that happen). I did not respond. He said that we have to figure out what we are going to do. I gave a simple ok response and walked away. He was clearly annoyed with my lack of responses and that I did not engage in the conversation. He is storming around the house a bit.
I feel like he is annoyed that I am not acting as his wife any more, that he can't have his cake and eat it too. I never thought I'd be here, as none of us do, and I hope I am doing the right things. It's so hard to not let emotions and instinct take over.
