WAW says... part 2

[Jamine]

You are using the wrong measuring stick. Do not believe things are worse just because she is more angry (or expressing her emotions).

Is there any way to measure progress, outside of how I feel? I feel relatively detached. Seeing her yesterday made my heart flutter a bit, but I honestly feel like I don't know W anymore. Does her constant anger mean anything, or should I ignore her emotions? I'd like to be in a place to not hate each other after D, but I'm no longer willing to give myself up for her.

I know it plays like a tape on repeat, but GAL, 180 and detach. You admit you don't know if you even want to R, but how can you tell if you are constantly in the eye of the storm. Get up in the morning and say "It's a new day", write a list of goals for you, start small (I will make my bed every morning, I will go to the gym three times a week, I will read one non-fiction book per week) and work on achieving those. Make that your focus. Not whether you will R or not. When you start to achieve those things, I promise that your mind will be calmer and you will be in a better place to decide what you want.

Don't get drawn into the crazy.

I'm feeling pretty confident about my reactions. I'm definitely internalizing her emotions, but I've gotten very good at validating, keeping a smile on my face, and not visibly reacting to her wild emotional swings. Yesterday I started training at a boxing gym in town, and will maintain my regular workouts and other hobbies. Although I just got back into town, I'm definitely going to keep GAL. I'll also write down some goals tonight before I go to bed - most of these have been in my head so far.

Thats awesome. They definitely notice wnen you look good. I have dropped almost 100lbs. I look amazing. My STBXWW has never experienced me in this shape and never will. I catch her staring at me all the time. It really seems to piss her off that I am finally looking amazing. After she decided she was done with me already.

Keep it up. But remember, that your health is for you to appreciate, not for her.

Wow, I'm impressed! I hope to keep increasing my fitness through workouts and now boxing. My confidence is way up these days; I got hit on more than once on my vacation. I'm doing it for me, but the looks from W are definitely icing on the cake.