My L is drawing up the response to the W's petition for divorce. Should be filed within about a week.
I believe W still wants to mediate but she has not responded to my last text about choosing a mediator - I found one who is much cheaper than the one she suggested and with good reviews.
I gave W a written list of custody terms and am waiting for a response.
I proposed a home value to W to base the buy-out on. Her cousin (lives out of town) is a realtor and I think she gave W an idea about what the property is worth and I'm guessing W doesn't like the number (too high). I know W spoke with her a week ago to talk numbers but W has not told me anything. If her cousin gave her a low number, W would have run to me with it and said "see, I told you!" So now she is wondering what to do.
I think she is afraid of an appraisal now as houses have been hitting all time highs in my town as there just isn't much selection and its a great area. I spoke to a buddy of mine across the country who is an appraiser and who has been to the house a few years ago and he gave me an informal number that is almost identical to my number and the number that a real estate agent gave me. I'm concerned about putting all my eggs in one appraiser's basket so my number is based on a realtor, an informal appraisal, average sales prices over the last 6 months and current list prices. So a lot of data all averaged together.
I did find a condo that came up for rent that is about 10 minutes away from my house, and I put down a deposit. It is not available until summer but inventory is very low in my town and I just jumped on it. I want to get to a written settlement with W before I move out but even if I don't I think I will still move. I know the recommendation on not moving out until a deal is in place but man am I ready. I don't see how it will hurt me as I am not keeping the house, won't be paying a dime into the house and I am getting 50/50 custody for sure as the law is rock solid in my state. Need to talk more with my L about the move but would appreciate any input from the vets and the board, thanks.
GAL is going good but again this was never an issue. I am currently planning summer and fall travels, a few trips with the kids and a few for me with some friends. Part of my ramped up GAL is to start hitting some places I have wanted to see but haven't been there yet, bucket list type stuff, starting with mostly domestic locations. Can't wait.
It seems like a lifetime since I have had a R talk with W and I have never pursued, begged or pleaded other than the evening of BD where I said we should get into counseling, but W said too little too late. I can tell you it feels so good to have taken that path and the no R talks lately has also been great. We have a joint business, raising the kids, and its all business for me with minimal small talk and just basic pleasantries - "hi, how are you?", "well, goodnight" type stuff.
W has made a few comments such as "I know you don't like me very much, but can you do X" I didn't have a great response to first part, so I just say "sure" to the second part. Any ideas on how to deal with the first part? When in doubt I just ignore that kind of stuff, and i'm happy to keep going with that strategy. I'm not looking to get into that discussion right now, unless I am missing the boat on something, do tell vets, thanks.
Overall a sad sitch to be in a D but I am pretty upbeat and ready for the transition. I know this is a marathon situation and the dynamic will change radically when I'm out of the house, and I look forward to that. I will NEVER pursue W, it doesn't even cross my mind to be honest. There may be a time down the road when an R talk happens but it is also something I really don't think about. I just want to get my $$ out of the house, lock down a custody agreement, set up a new home, gets the kids settled and move on, turn the page and enjoy what the future will bring.
