I’ve read a lot about the stages of an Mlc, curious what the veterans think of my situation.
I believe everything started 3-5 years ago when my wife mother got cancer. Over those years my wife has been obsessed with working out, new tattoos, partying with single divorced friends, flirting at bars, drinking heavily on weekends, spending like an animal - massive debt. I really had no idea about the debt but I did recognize the other stuff but never clued in. I feel like this was massive replay.
My wife didn’t started her emotional affair until December 2018, I busted it in February before it got physical but based on an email I read my wife was in complete limerence.
She told me she didn’t romantically love me after I ended her affair. She has since told me about her fantasy of living in same town while we raise our 3 children. I really don’t believe her.
The last 2 months she has acted very depressed. She barely talks, has distanced herself from family and friends except for her best friend that is 2 times divorced.
Even though the bomb drop was 2 months ago I feel like she has quickly moved into depression/ withdrawal. My wife would have a very guilty concierge of all the damage she has done. She is also seeing a therapist but not regularly enough.
Could there be a chance she is in withdrawal?
She has never been angry with me, we still talk about kids, meals etc. But she has been more distant from children and very irritable with them. The kids are feeling her anger and it’s upsetting.
I really hope things are progressing through the stages since I believe she has been going through this silently for years. She even said she has fallen out of love with me for last year or 2 which I don’t fully believe.
She has rewritten history on multiple occasions. She tries to claim that she has never truly loved me since the start. Reasons, she never took my last name - 16 years ago, she has a physical affair before we were even engaged, she has never been comfortable with my family. These are such ridiculous excuses.
Anyways thoughts on stages? It’s tough seeing her so depressed with withdrawn from everybody, even the kids.
