I never really followed along your thread but out of curiosity did browse a bit over lunch. It does on the surface appear that your STBX started dating only after bomb-day as opposed to before. The reality - doesn't matter a lot.
With that said, two of the women I've dated including the one I am getting fairly serious with are not divorced. They both live independent lives and are not sharing the marital home. It's a tricky thing. I know that I had a serious talk with B and made it clear that I would not keep dating her if she had any hopes of reconciliation.
Does that make me OM? Ethically grey. Since they've been separated for almost two years, more light grey than dark.
Would I ever want to meet / interact with either of her past partners? No. Not interested. The kids are all grown on both sides. With my ex's guy who was the OM, I really have no interest in meeting him, but like Dawn, it may well happen at a wedding if S24 ever manages to get a date. I fully expect that everyone will know that we should be kept well apart.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
