Andrew haha! Well, doodler and I have occasionally danced the dance, so nothing new
J9 what a wild ride for sure! Still more to come, but at least this go around I am in the driver's seat and can have some control over what the ride will look like.
Dawn I know I didn't get serious flak for it, but LC's response was expected. His sitch vastly different than mine and I can see where he was coming from in his response. I knew that exW was going to steamroll her new R and that her bf was going to be around the kids a lot. Just the way she informed me about her new R was information enough for me to think about what I wanted to do next. I did debate it in one of my threads and put it out to just process the thinking.
The sit-down gave me the ability to set the tone for his involvement in the lives of my kids and also get an opportunity to see a glimpse of who this guy is. If he's going to be around my kids a lot, I personally needed to get a feel for him. I am not saying that as a judgment call and that if someone didn't that they're not doing it right. I just needed it for myself. As I expected, he's been coming around a lot and they've taken this blended family situation like they've been together for years. It was a bit jarring at first, but I know how to handle myself and I processed all of those emotions and thoughts privately to come to a place of grounding for myself. He's acted with great consideration towards me and has shown that he understands his place - it does seem genuine and not because they're in the early throes of their R. He also seems to be a caring father towards his kids and so that has put me at ease a bit.
The strange thing is that I think he's a good guy. I am not sure what his calculus was in dating exW who wasn't divorced etc. Definitely different from my calculus about it, but I just try to stay away from putting too much judgment. In his background, he was the LBS, but the story is much different than what we see on the boards. His MR was over the day he got married basically and so his LBS story is pretty rough. I just hope that he's done enough emotional work to get involved again, and same goes for exW. I don't see any evidence of it from exW, and so I wonder how grounded he is. Time will tell I guess.
I am sorry to hear about meeting the OW in your circumstances. I wonder if I could've pulled that off if it happened to me. As I had said, it's all about context, not right or wrong.
It's good to be here nonetheless and I look forward to regaling y'all about dating adventures and life in general. This part of the forum is much my speed now and y'all are a great crowd.
