Persistent Endurance (Part 3)

[curtis7]

I know detachment is the answer, but implementing this during an active A is a challenge.

For most people an A makes detachment easier. Do you really want to be attached to someone that doesn't love you and is actively engaging in an A?

Sadly, and as much as I despise her choices, I do. The LBS still loves the WAS and can’t flip a switch to turn that off, but instead chooses to love from a distance that doesn’t apply pressure. I think that’s why so many LBS hold on to the hope that the A will end at some point and the connection can be rebuilt rather than taking the easy path of throwing in the towel and rushing into D. The LBS spends an exorbitant amount of time improving themselves, reading self-help, and learning how to strive for perfection in MR that we see how great the R could be if only given the chance. The LBS chooses to live in limbo and sacrifice some personal gratification (sex, intimacy, emotional support, reciprocated love, etc) while hoping and praying that the WAS wakes up and comes out of the fog. Every LBS should be commended for enduring this pain and standing for their MR. We didn’t ask for this and no one deserves this, but we must acknowledge that we did play a role in getting to this point. We must keep focused on the long term goal and vision of a happy and mutually fulfilling MR and focus on the changes we need to make in ourselves to become a spouse only a fool would leave.