Steve, I agree. Id love to be in counciling again. I just had to postpone getting health ins. For S4 and myself as i cannot afford even that. Which is frustrating as having insurance would make getting an IC more realisticaly affordable. Im doing well though. Like I said, these moods don't set up on me for the entire day anymore. It's just kind of a fleeting Burst of emotion that goes away after 10 minutes or so. And they're becoming less and less common. I still think it stems from the fact that I have yet to ever have an opportunity to say my piece to her. I realize at this point that that's kind of pointless if I were to ever get that opportunity, and I probably wouldn't take it if it presented itself. I'm still jealous a little bit, I don't think that's an unrealistic feeling. It doesn't mean that I necessarily want what I'm jealous of it's just the lingering damage of being left behind for someone else. That feeling of inadequacy and inferiority. Even though I know that I am not in any way shape or form inferior to om. I have been refreshing myself on the behavioral patterns of narcissistic type people to keep my mind well rooted in reality. I think becoming single again made me start to second-guess a lot of the conclusions I had drawn about her behavior and the way that she manipulate people's emotions. I need to keep myself well reminded of the fact that that's all it is manipulations and self defense mechanisms that she subconsciously does.
Yes, OK, I can relate to this so much. My ex-GF jerked me around for decades (literally). Just as I would start to move on she would come around to suck me back in. I never did counseling, but I wish I would have. Because the only other thing that works is time. Every situation is different but in affairs of the heart it is usually a VERY LONG TIME. Many years later certain things would still trigger pangs of anger, bitterness, sadness and/or grief. After years and years I was finally able to get over it and move forward, even despite her efforts to keep me hanging on.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
