Last attempt. OrangeK v.2

[OrangeK]

Steve, I agree. Id love to be in counciling again.
I just had to postpone getting health ins. For S4 and myself as i cannot afford even that.
Which is frustrating as having insurance would make getting an IC more realisticaly affordable.
Im doing well though.
Like I said, these moods don't set up on me for the entire day anymore. It's just kind of a fleeting Burst of emotion that goes away after 10 minutes or so. And they're becoming less and less common. I still think it stems from the fact that I have yet to ever have an opportunity to say my piece to her. I realize at this point that that's kind of pointless if I were to ever get that opportunity, and I probably wouldn't take it if it presented itself. I'm still jealous a little bit, I don't think that's an unrealistic feeling. It doesn't mean that I necessarily want what I'm jealous of it's just the lingering damage of being left behind for someone else. That feeling of inadequacy and inferiority. Even though I know that I am not in any way shape or form inferior to om. I have been refreshing myself on the behavioral patterns of narcissistic type people to keep my mind well rooted in reality. I think becoming single again made me start to second-guess a lot of the conclusions I had drawn about her behavior and the way that she manipulate people's emotions. I need to keep myself well reminded of the fact that that's all it is manipulations and self defense mechanisms that she subconsciously does.