Re: Moving past the WAW to a stronger me Pt. 6

[Davide]

Thanks TBSaka for your veteran advice! I'm not sure if my readiness was the deciding factor there or not. It doesn't seem that way to me, but I am well aware that this can certainly be a blind spot for me. Who ever wants to admit to themself that they are unready?

This weekend my college friend came into town (actually she is still here!) It has been a lot of together time, a lot of getting out and walking around the city, a lot of doing things outside of my normal routine - both for better and for worse. It has been great to have someone to spend time with, but I also found myself missing the independence of my single life after a couple of days (she arrived on Friday). Yesterday, I told her that I needed to take some time for myself and go to yoga class to center myself. She, of course, was cool with it.

It was also good to have her around yesterday as I filed the last of my divorce paperwork. I was given a court date in two weeks which I don't need to go to, and assuming everything is in order they will mail out the decrees to me and W within 3 weeks. I texted W to let her know all that information and to let her know that I would be leaving the official court form on the dining room table for her to pick up. I didn't want to just leave the form out there without explanation. She thanked me and picked it up last night. I definitely found myself short and easily annoyed with my friend yesterday right before and after filing. Despite the knowledge that I am doing the right thing and my willingness to move forward, the actual acts are stressful. I have zero regrets about it, but it is still difficult to take.

I never heard back about the job offer in my hometown, which was disappointing as that means they have likely offered it to someone else. I think that mentally I had convinced myself to accept the position despite its limitations just as a way to start over elsewhere. Oh well. This weekend I was struck by an urge to just quit my job at the end of the year and jump into the unknown. The feeling has subsided somewhat but I wonder if it is something I should pursue.

I have a bunch of dates coming up this week, a second date tonight with one woman who loves to hike and be outside. A first date tomorrow with a woman who works at a rental car company but is also working on a novel. I have another with a woman on Friday, and last night I started chatting with a really intelligent and attractive woman who is close to my age. I enjoy meeting these woman and seeing if there is anything real, regardless of how it works out.