OK, this is why I think it is so important for you to remain in counseling. You need to work through the unresolved feelings and emotions. Your relationship with her was ripped away leaving a gaping wound. That doesn't heal without proper attention.

I've mentioned before that I watch Dr. Phil. It is one of my W's and my favorite thing to do together. Yesterday they ran a show from a few years ago where a woman and her mother were keeping her daughter away from her ex-husband because they were still bitter and angry that he left her for another woman. Dr. Phil got her into counseling to deal with those unresolved emotions because it was putting her special needs daughter in the crossfire.

If you get yourself well emotionally, you will be a better coparent for you S because of it. And it will set you up for better success when the next "Mary" comes into your life.

I know you say money is an issue.....and that you can't afford it. Again I will repeat that you can't afford NOT to get this dealt with.

Peace brother. And, as always, I will keep you in my prayers.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018