You have taken your overthinking to a new level! Just chill. If you don’t want what she wants, then graciously bow out. If there is a possibility you do, continue on. 3 months, my friend.
And you marrying another woman will not give your kids the experience of being with mom and dad. Your kids have a mom. It doesn’t mimic that. It’s a completely different experience . Will they get a chance to see how their dad is in a relationship? Yes. Will they another adult present that cares for them? Yes. But you aren’t going to recreate the mom and dad experience. And you don’t need to be married because that doesn’t make her “mom”
Marriage or remarriage is a personal choice. I don’t need it. Do I want it? I don’t even know sometimes I hate that wasted the covenant of marriage on my douchebag ex who never gave a crap about me and was barely 4 years long. I had my daughter, but I’m talking about between a husband and wife. Maybe if marriage was a guarantee of fidelity I would be into it, but it most certainly is not.
Working in healthcare, I often run into domestic partnership issues. There can be a significant other of anpatient where they have been living together 20 years, but cannot make medical decisions unless they are designated POA. I think of those things. Legally, a partnership without marriage still that needs to be legally sorted.
That’s my view on marriage. If you saw my post, I am finally thinking about that stuff. It’s the first time this stuff has become real for me. But still seems so far off. And I still tell M that I don’t want him to go in the morning 😊. But that’s not me trying to lock him down. That’s me expressing how much I love spending time with him.
