Alison: that sounds very much like my dh, whereas I’ve always been a ‘live in the moment, don’t bother planning’ sort of person, last year Ds2 and I went away and we bought maps on the ferry and changed our minds every few days, it was wonderful... This crisis has turned me into a planner! I prefer my previous spontaneous self I think. Things mostly turn out ok if you don’t plan and sometimes those are the most memorable times, maybe I need to make the most of dh not being around given he’s the one usually obsessed with the future and with planning
The socialising is not dating but just doing stuff with other new people. I work at home and it’s super isolating so I need to organise social stuff I think. I’m not good left to my own devices. And meeting new people energises me, though I hate too much routine. I’m pretty good at chatting to random strangers (I just went to the pub and bumped into a random Irish geezer who bought me lots of drinks last time I was there, funnily enough he wasn’t so friendly when I was there with my teen). So I think I need new people and structure in my life at the same time. I don’t think this was what my life was lacking before, the whole GAL thing perplexes my IC because as he points out I’ve always had a very busy and full life. Maybe I even used that to distance my dh? I can see how my mum does that though I’m not as extreme as her. So I’m remaining open to new people, sticking with my friends and yet still reserving space for my dh, it’s a juggling act. So I’m not sure I’m that similar to you FS in terms of socialising. I admire you so much though for organising your birthday bash! That’s fantastic And I’ve realised celebrating is something none of my family (either birth nor with dh) has done well and is something I’m planning to do a 180 on. I started by organising ds2’s birthday shindigs and ds1’s birthday dinner, both memorable occasions. More of these to come. Though our 25th wedding anniversary is the next one. Awkward! Maybe I’ll organise a party with all our old friends anyway and hope dh turns up lol. I’ve realised that dh and I have been awful at seeing joint friends over the years, it’s been my friends or some joint old friends but never truly joint new friends, I’ve been better at making new friends than him but he’s tended to shun my friends until recently. His friends are long-standing but also socioeconomically inferior which is weird. On the one hand loyalty is good, but on the other how sad not to trust colleagues. With great power comes great isolation.
I’ve not read either of those books but love a good self help book, I even listen to a podcast where they live By The Book and give their verdicts, sadly they hated your recommendation FS! I’ve read a book with a similar title though which I loved...
