Yes. Totally glad to hear that nesting isn't the preferred arrangement here nor is leaving the MBR. I'm not the one that wants the space or needs the space, so I'll stay here in my space. I really appreciate the encouragement to communicate that in a healthy way.
Our couples counselor actually kept hearing her say she needed separation but do nothing about it. aka. EATING LOTS OF CAKE. He didn't tell me this but I could see him calling her bluff and asking her to draw up a plan to separate; financially, logistically, etc. She doesn't have one. I'm not going to shoulder the blame for her plan not being complete.
Her IC is fully supporting her (which an IC should) but she also leads an emotionally abusive women's group. My wife sometimes comes home to talk about the other husbands who won't even acknowledge they were abusive, who are still manipulating their wives for sex and are downright nasty.
The ingredients I haven't added to my situation are patience and time. I'm just now (thanks to this group) understanding the strength and need to GAL, and being confident to validate my W, but not be a pushover.
H46 W38 M12 T15 D8,S7,S5
11/12/17 "I don't want to be married like this" A began 7/12/18 Confessed A 10/1/19 EA still happening with 2 4/23/19 "I want a D, but I want to stay until I find a job"
