I do NOT plan to remarry. The process of divorce was such a pain in the neck, and I don't want to be financially tied to anyone ever again. Yeah, I could get a good prenup but right now in my life I don't see any reason to actually tie the knot. I would love to have a monogamous long term partner to count on and be close to, but frankly I don't even require they live with me - there are pros and cons to that!
I guess I no longer believe that marriage is any assurance of fidelity, and if a guy can be faithful to me I don't need him to marry me to prove it. I think marriage is best for young people having a family together. I can give powers of attorney for healthcare decisions to a partner and include him in my will if I'm so inclined, so those reasons for marrying are moot. And I don't need financial support from a partner.
I do think some people want to be married because they value the "pick me" part of it - being chosen makes people feel good, no doubt. But at my age I don't feel the need for that external validation.
Now, since you both have young kids, I could understand wanting to get married before living together just to set that example for your children. But I sure wouldn't be in any hurry.
And btw, you ARE overthinking this! It's only been 3 months and you're trying to decide if you'll marry her. Let the future be and just spend your time in the present getting to know her better. Anybody can look good for the first three months. It takes time for the friction points in a relationship to start showing.
