Thanks a bunch for the feedback, I really appreciate it. I'm the kind of person that can not eat sweets for a year, so surely I can stick to some healthy boundaries, and apply some self love. This has been going on for so long now (18 months) that I'm not missing the contact as much as I used to.
I still long for the togetherness and wholeness of our family.
I suspect my wife is caught between a rock and a hard place while enjoying her cake though. She would have to tell the kids what is happening. She can't financially stand on her own. And if she were to have another affair, that would have nothing to do with my abuse to her. That pattern isn't happening anymore, our CC would confirm that.
For now, it's a GAL time. Back in great shape. Pressing into Jesus. Take on new projects at work. Love on my kids.
We have a counseling appt tomorrow - she'll claim I'm being controlling by not moving out to do "nesting" at the house. We actually still sleep in the same bed. I'm cordial, we watch some of the same shows. And when I want to go to sleep, I do. No questions about affairs (past or suspected). She is hanging out with GF who are recently divorced, likes to go drinking but comes back to the safety of our house.
She even puts up new decorations and re-arranges the house (which is confusing AF for someone that wants to separate).
Thanks again for the feedback!!
H46 W38 M12 T15 D8,S7,S5
11/12/17 "I don't want to be married like this" A began 7/12/18 Confessed A 10/1/19 EA still happening with 2 4/23/19 "I want a D, but I want to stay until I find a job"
