si, what you're going through is very typical. many of us have been there. Likely you're dealing with a wayward wife. she is wanting to di what she wants but still cake eat. IE have other men but still have all the advantages and security of being married to you. Having other men but still being shielded from scrutiny from her children.
When a WW says they want their own place, it isn't to heal. It isn't to work on the marriage. It isn't even to find themselves. The only reason a WW wants their own place is to sleep with other people. I'm telling you that so you can understand her mindset right now.
I'm sure after the As you began 'paying attention" after years of not. You took her for granted which is why you feel she is now taking you for granted. Shoe is on the other foot. But also, we LBH's off WWs pay attention not always just to change but also to control. Are you snooping on her? Trying to look at her phone? Keeping tabs on where she goes? Ask yourself, is that really the way you want to live?
So yes you need to detach. You need to get a life. You need to continue to work on yourself (180s). But you also need to let her go to get her back. You need to stop all pressure and pursuit. You need to focus on yourself and your kids.
Remember, it takes two to make a marriage, only one to make a divorce. They choice to stay married isn't yours to make. So stop trying to control that.
You're right 1 week is a drop in the ocean in relation to your sitch. Yes it's a good sign she is asking what's wrong, my WW asked the same thing when I started detaching well. Most WWs will start to feel the loss of control. That's a good thing. So keep it up but make sure it isn't mean or angry. Just detached. Pleased. Present. Upbeat. But not reactionary to anything she says or does, both positive or negative.
Good luck, are you religious at all? If so rededicate yourself back to religion. If not, it might be a good place to start with GAL.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
