Moving on to the bright side Part 25

[Dawn70]

Now love just seems like more of a choice. I enjoy the Dr.s company, we have lots of sex, our lifestyles are the same with young kids, and we share similiar beliefs but I don't need her. I don't want her money, have no problems signing a pre-nup if it ever came to that but I can see how we would be a compliment to each other's lives. At this age is that most important?

Is it the most important to you? Because if it is, then there is your answer. What is most important to one may or may not be important to another. I agree with what you said about love being a choice, to a certain extent. I still think it is an emotion, I just think by the age we are now (and granted I'm a good bit older than you, so this may be even more likely for me), we know how to love in a very real way without having that roller coaster of lust attached. Again, not saying sex and being sexually attracted and sexually compatible aren't important because they are, but I think as we age, that raw emotional, lusty, dramatic thing that we thought love was in our earlier years is not so prevalent. As we age, love becomes more about working together as a team, taking care of each other when we're sick and the like. At least, that is my take on it. And, maybe others agree and maybe they don't.

One of the first things my XH said to me when we decided to get married was that one of the things he loved about me was that I took care of myself and was totally independent and I didn't need him, but I plainly wanted him in my life and he found that very attractive. Sparky has actually told me something very similar. He said I obviously have no problem handling my own sh!t, but it is pretty obvious that I want to be with him and share my life with him and that is a very attractive quality. There's a vast difference in those 2 things...needing and wanting.

I know you keep saying you are an overthinker and I get that because I'm one too, but you really are way overthinking the whole thing. Just relax and enjoy and see where it goes. If you are feeling her and she is feeling you then keep going. If not, then bow out gracefully and move on. You are so early on that there really isn't a need to get too far gone here. Just let things develop naturally. Get out of your own head and just be in the moment with her and see how that feels. Thinking about it too much can sometimes be a bad thing. Right now, you like her and she likes you and y'all have great sex. Take that for what it is and just enjoy it. Above all, just be honest with her and if at some point, you aren't feeling it anymore, tell her. I get the impression, from your posts, that you keep waiting for some sign or feeling like you got with your XW and that isn't necessarily going to happen because you are older, more mature, understand love and relationships better now. Infatuation is not as likely now and more genuine emotions are, so just roll with it.