I am turning my focus to GAL. Yesterday H invited me to watch a game with him and our son. I waited for some time, but eventually joined them. H and I were cordial to one another for the rest of the evening. This is hard because our conversations quickly return to "normal", just everyday partner talk. I am trying to detach, but old habits die hard. I am a work in progress! As soon as I start to have some of those old loving feelings towards my spouse I am reminded of what he did, what he is doing.
One thing he said to me yesterday was that he thinks I am moving on, and that he thinks it's a good thing. This speaks volumes to me. He wants me to be ok, he wants me to move on, so he can. I feel as if it is time that he move out, even though it is the last thing I want. Perhaps he will realize what he is missing out on. Perhaps not.
I will not focus on the mistakes I have made, just move forward. For now, as to keep the peace in our home, I will continue with LRT and GAL. I am not ready to go dark, yet. I will read, read, and read DB. The more detached I become, the more interest he shows. Who knows..... I am not going to look to deeply into it, just take it as it comes, day by day.
