Thanks guys. I don't think it was pursuit either. But these waters are hard to navigate ... and it is difficult when you are in the middle of it to know what the right thing to do is.
Yail - I think DB DB DB gets drummed into us here because we need it to protect us whilst heal. So we GAL, we 180 and we detach. Detachment was always a difficult one for me - too detached and it's rude, not detached enough and it becomes pursuit. At times, I probably wavered on the rude side. I am trying to be lovingly detached, but sometimes, when the 'lovingly' part is not reciprocated, it feels like doormat. That isn't because I think I can win him back with kindness, but every now and then, it feels like my kindness is taken advantage of. Expectations. Not of R, but that he is capable of kindness back.
Journaling
Easter weekend is nearly done. A have ended up having the children most of the weekend because my H has been visiting his dad. I have not minded having the children. But, as I noted above, I do feel a little taken advantage off. He went out last night when he could have had the girls.
We had an Easter egg hunt here with some of D9's friends Friday which was awesome. The other parents and I sat in the garden (first properly warm day of the year) and watched the children excitedly hunting for eggs. D12 was in her element because she was 'in charge'. After the hunt we had afternoon tea for the kids, and again D12 was in charge. I didn't have to do much other than put the food out.
Saturday, the girls and I went into town to have lunch and do some shopping. It was H's day to have the girls and I agreed to watch them as he wanted to go to the hospital to visit his dad. In any case, he came around in the evening to watch them as I had made plans to go to dinner with a girlfriend. I offered to cancel my plans, but he said it was fine. He was feeding them at the house, and the girls said they'd rather sleep at home. H watched them until I got back.
Sunday, I had his brother's girlfriend and her daughter around for Easter lunch. We sat in the garden most of the day watching the kids play. His brother came back after visiting his dad and we all just hung out. It was actually pretty cool. Not sure where H was, but no matter.
I have the girls again today. Not much planned. Tidying the house, helping D12 with her homework (she starts school tomorrow) and just hanging out. D9 and I are about to watch a movie and D12 is still sleeping .
On another note, I have booked a holiday to Greece for the girls and I in the summer, and also a week for me in Croatia when H takes the girls away for a week. The Greece holiday is an all inclusive resort thing (kids don't want to go sight seeing) and the Croatia trip is white water rafting and cave diving. Not quite bucket list, but it should be fun.
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