I had such a great weekend. M and I had a special date last night. I won’t give the details, it was a first for me, and a lot of fun. We were home by 1am ( late night for us) we slept until 10:30Am which I never get to do ( up a few times to tend to dog though. Then I arrived for Easter dinner at his house. His bro, his wife, her sister and mom were there ( and of course his mom) dinner was delish. I stayed until almost 9. I have to say, it feels so good to be included in the family stuff as his girlfriend. I never really made it to the point of holidays with the family with anyone but my ex. I always felt like some dirty little secret with other guys, like I wasn’t good enough to bring home to mom. It’s such a nice feeling
I made a joke to him and asked him if it was like being with another woman when he Felt my top half. I was laying in his arms and he said “it’s just like being with you, because it’s whats in here and here that makes you you ( pointing to my head and my heart” he is such an amazing man. How lucky am I?
I haven’t really thought about the future with us. I’ve started to. I wouldn’t let myself get ahead of myself like my old MO. But coming up onto 8 months I am beginning to think about it. I think I’ve known I had no future with any other guy I’ve dated. But with him, I feel one. Will we ever live together? I don’t know. It gets complicated with kids and homeowner ship and the such. But I would love to wake up with every morning and go to bed with him every night. And come home to him after work. One day I would really want that. But he still makes an effort to kind of not let his son know our status. But I think his son does know, actually. I also haven’t lived with anyone in 11 years. That’s a long time. Marriage I doubt will be on the table. His scars might have been too deep. Mine were for a long time and I was totally closed off to it. I am not anymore, but it isn’t a necessity to me. We aren’t having kids and We aren’t religious We don’t talk about future plans like that. We just let our relationship flow. And it’s flowing beautifully. I think we even think of my dog as our dog. He offered to help me fix my lawn up and said he would mow it, he just can’t commit to every week because he has his own. I said I wouldn’t let him do that. But to even offer that? Very kind.
Anyways, I’ve seen my daughter once this week. I’m excited for her to come home tomorrow. Although she wants one of her friends to come over after school. And she will be here until about 8 pm. She’s all about the friends now. Which I am happy about. I like to see her thrive with her friends. But I miss my baby girl!
If you have actually made it through my rambling journal, Hays off to you! So many thoughts going off in my head!
