Thanks for the clarification, Job. I just wanted to review it because DnJ mentioned that is H was still seeing OW, he was in replay. I just didn't know exactly what this meant. Just needed clarity, and will use the guide loosely.
Journaling.....
So, I'm home from a terrific 24 hours with the kids! Lots of together time, church was inspirational, and nice to see they are doing well. They even let me shampoo their carpets and disinfect their rooms! Made mom happy. lol.
D19 was all hand holding, hugs, and kisses. I even got a few, if a bit stiff, hugs from my Aspie S21. initiated by him, which was something. D19 ended lunch by saying it was a great weekend, with lots of together time. I just told them both that nothing was more important than family and keeping those connections going, and that I loved being there with them. S21 is in a bit of la la land with H. He mentioned Hs "band practice", that he believes H is telling the truth (that's the excuse for not going to see them on Easter). I just listened. That was about the extent of talking about their dad.
The only downside of seeing the kids is the 2 hours each way in the car. Too much time to think. I played all kinds of music, but thoughts of H kept creeping in. How is he spending his Easter? Is he with OW? Then I had fleeting thoughts of jealousy. He's got someone, and I miss having someone! Why would I be jealous of a relationship like that? This is not a strong feeling, and I've only had it once or twice before. But.....
Just another thing to work out.
So my sister posted a link for a daily devotional from Rick Warren. I of course clicked on it to listen. It was about forgiveness, and how forgiveness is for us. Lack of forgiveness only locks us in a prison. He added that anxiety, worry, and stress are all actually fear. And fear locks you up in a prison, and limits living.
Things like my sister's post pop up when I seem to need it the most. It certainly got my attention today.
I don't want to be locked up in a prison. I want to live freely. My over-attention on H is keeping me locked up. The door may be propped opened occasionally and I get a breath of fresh air, but I want to breath that air every day, all day.
