I know my way is not the popular option. I detailed it in my last thread in newcomers. Here is what I am going to say - it is all about context. If your ex had an A and they're with that same person, there's no way I am going to do what I did. I already know the integrity of that person and so it's done.
But I stand by what I did. It made my interactions with him smoother and it also eased the way for the kids to see us all in public settings. the kids see their father who strong, unfazed, and cordial. He is respectful of my role as the father and understands his role. Kids haven't felt at all like they have to pick sides and seem to be transitioning to this reality a lot better than I expected. I credit a whole lot of that to me, and some to W. I am not going to be bff's with him, but I can exercise kindness and civility towards him. He's done nothing wrong to me. This process helped me reach another level of detachment and emotional health.
I am not saying what I did is the 'right' way to do things, or that there aren't other ways to reach a similar outcome for your personal growth. i am saying that context matters and what works for me won't work for you.
