I'm not making excuses for any of the crisis people, but sometimes, they scream that they want a divorce or are going to move out as a way to get you, the lbs, to back off. For example, when my xh was threatening to move out, I listened for a bit and one day, I had had enough of that mess. So, I called his bluff and told him that I thought it would be a good idea that he moved out...what did he do? He sat up on the couch and cried his tears. He said he was so confused and didn't know what to do. It took him another week or two before he disappeared while I was at work.
They truly do not know what they want. They are seeking relief from the misery deep within their souls. We don't see it, but they are in a lot of pain. Pain, that we would never want to experience. Yes, they can become vindictive along the way and the anger will build. That is when you need to step outside the ring and allow them to fight with themselves. If she says something, say "I'm sorry you feel that way" and walk away, do not engage in a fight. They want and need justification for what they are doing. If they don't get the justification, it just might make them think a little bit.
Hang in there.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
