I continue to struggle. The thought of my H sleeping with OW keeps creeping into my head. I feel if H wanted to work things out with me he would be making an effort. If he truly wanted to work on our marriage he would be begging for my forgiveness.
I am also becoming concerned about my husband's habits. He is a recovering addict. He has been drinking more and more lately, and I have found hidden beer cans around. He is chewing tobacco and nicotine gum. His computer history shows that he haas been watching porn as well. These habits are all very familiar to me and I fear he is spiraling. We have been here before. Last time it lead to pain med abuse and he lost his job. I stood by and supporting him through his recovery and he told me I saved his life. I almost feel as if the affair is related to his addictions. The feeling he gets from the affair is feeding his addictive personality.
I am not going to confront him at this point because I think it will only bring conflict and make matters worse. I have considered contacting his sponsor as he is also a friend.
