The real key was regain the person that I was at the beginning of my relationship with my W, and then become even better. This was/is deeply personal journey and introspective work, and still ongoing.
Great post. This particularly is something I've focused on for the past several months--probably since the divorce was finalized. It's not about becoming a new person. I have a lot of great qualities--qualities that my XW happened to fall in love with. Those include being generally positive, generous, genuine, loyal, and easy going. Step #1 was to get back to the person I was at the beginning of the relationship. Step #2 was to 180 on my bad qualities. The key part is being able recognize them. Step #3 was to start doing things that I haven't always been comfortable with. I have made strides in all three areas, but I still have a long ways to go.
