In my sitch , W was going to absolutely pull the wool and screw me financially. I got suspicious, went on the offensive and moved out first. When moving, I found some paperwork that confirmed she was planning on putting the screws to me. Point is, nothing should surprise you. A monster has filled the shoes of the one you've known all along.
Since out, I've been able to successfully detach. You are correct, if you get sucked in/have sympathy, you will go down in flames along with her, and she'd be happy to bring you there. The MLC frame of mind brings relentless stamina on her part. She will crush you. It's best if one of you reach a decision......it'll likely be you.
Taking the lead with anything in regards to her......you will be labeled a control freak and push her away. Do for yourself only.
With regards to her crying, it will happen frequently. If it still hits you emotionally, you are not detached.
One thing that helped me was a book called the 48 Laws of Power. There are YouTube snippets of each law. Some are sadistic, but the general theme can help you in this as well as business and personal relationships.
