Sandi: "I believe women who have abusive or very overbearing H's feel they have to walk on eggshells, b/c the least thing can set him off......so they live in that nervous dread of the next explosion."
Sandi I can totally understand that from a woman's perspective, and my W'S and sympathise with it, being as emotionally frustrated and fluctuating as I am with some circumstances of life. I can see how I was overbearing in some areas, and yet understanding in others. Especially when it came to division of labor. I can actually see from my W's perspective how at times under stress and frustration how in some moments she would have to walk on eggshells in silence, I could have been unintentionally emotionally arrogant, stubborn, and unshakeable in my own perceptions and beliefs in the past which I am attempting to 180 on. Not that it matters at this point. Damage is already done.
I'm glad however that you do see through the Women's Lib movement. I am not saying a Woman even needs to depend on a Man or a Husband if that is what they choose. If Women would prefer their independence, pursuit of happiness, life and purpose beyond marriage and divorce, then have at it. Who am I to tell anyone how to feel, what to pursue, and what goals, dreams, desires, what is right, and what decisions to make.
I've read a lot of self-help stuff throughout the years as well, and continue to do so. There is nothing wrong with changing, improving, and taking different directions in life when needed. But again like yourself, I think a lot of this self empowerment stuff, although well meaning, and sometimes helpful, but is I'm some form, nothing more than polished sales tactics, fancily crafted wording geared torward women, that is ungrounded in reality, offering hope and promise of a new life, a new transition, a new beginning, to those that are desperate to change for the better, that have left their old lives behind, including their marriages for promises of something greater. IMO the self help community sells. It sells to men and women alike in the information age. The trend I notice with society from now, going back to the depression era, the difference being, everyone is on a mission to improve themselves, feel better, do more, be more, accomplish more, being overloaded more, distracted more, and demanded more of. Your right Sandi. Its already too much for men and women to bear the weight. The odd thing is about today in the 21st century in comparison with the 20th century is, some of us are accomplishing more but the majority of us are accomplishing less. I'm guilty of this too, as some of us read too much and do too little. Our time is consumed by the practicalities of life. Some manage it better than others. Some of us achieve our goals and dreams, and some just start it and give up.
to subscribe to guru's, . I did notice that the trend is that it is focused more on the self and Independence, then it is on a sacrifice and commitment. I think it works for some, and not for others, like everything else we follow and choose. Even DB is somewhat of a guru subscription. But it is unprecedented that's for sure. It suits our agendas, because MWD has seen through the empty promises of D, and the lies that it offers, and what it does to families. It doesn't get easier, it gets harder. But then again, that all depends on an individual's perception, and experience.
