I don't think this is so much about you feeling like a doormat as it is you feeling desperate to control her. You aren't going to change her decision in five days by trying to lay down some sort of boundary lines. For one thing, what would you do if she didn't honor your boundary?
I agree...Not much can be achieved and if I set one, and if she breaks it, it will be more devastating to my self esteem. So, I will just keep doing my thing and spend quality time with my D.
Also, today, she messaged me in the morning around 7 am that she was leaving to buy stuff for her new apartment and then will be assembling them and will come home late in the night (which according to her would be around 11 pm). I didn't message back anything.
Later today, she calls me and says that her apartment has been flooded and she will need all the towels to clean it till the maintenance guys come which will be late in the evening.
I DON"T KNOW WHY WHY WHY, but I ended up saying "Don't panic and if you will like I can help you out as she can't hide her new address as my daughter will be living there and I have right to know". To which she said "I will let you know the new address and I wasn't going to hide that. Also, I don't need your help, please keep the towels outside the house, so she can pick them up. Two minutes later, calls me again and says "Let it be, I will by new ones as the ones at home will not be enough".
I know I should not have said that, but ended up (instinct or fixer attitude. So want to get rid of it and let her feel the heat and reality.
Just wanted to share with you guys and get advice on what to say when something like this happens again.
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Do something like this:
Mon-Tuesday you Wednesday-Thursday her Alternate every Friday- Sunday
I will toss this idea, though I messaged her that I have classes on Saturday, so I would like to have the following arrangement " Sunday Morning - Wednesday Morning - Me Wednesday Evening to Sunday Morning - Her
She said that she will think and let me know by today evening or tomorrow afternoon.
