Attracting the WW back ?

[gzabetas]

thanks Tryhard, thats what I am aiming for.

bubbs16 totally agree.

Ready2Change, nice to see those numbers. If I had to place myself in there I would be in the high percentage with Nice guy syndrome and beta behaviour.

As to the old adage that relationship issues are 50/50 I am not so sure anymore.
Sure it takes 2 to make a relationship work, but it takes one to break it.

It is noble to analyze our behavior as contributing to the meltdown, but from my end I found very little.
I did let family and friends let go. I am guilty of that. The people that mattered to me I forsake for my wife, who was always the hurting bird, the traumatized person who needed me to be her satellite.

And you know what, those people that I did do wrong, when I am hurting now, they all came around to help.
Its funny how that works. Goes to show that strong character and empathy doesn't just go away.
My wife never had that stability.

I quote DnJs writing again describing a ticking time bomb that was my wife. Some past trauma. It was always there, I see it now.

I add 2 rules that are very important, mentioned in the DR book.

1. Happiness comes from inside.
2. Love is a choice.

The spouse has to pick 1 and 2 on their own.
Our contribution should be irrelevant.