So. I have been busy GAL. I already was good at GAL but now when im not working or spending time with my son I am almost never at the house. Been playing a ton of hockey and working out 6 days a week. I already did these things before but I am really doubling down to stay out of the house.
Like I said, I took back the MBR. W is still sleeping in the MBR but usually starts out as far on the edge of the bed as she can get. As the night goes on she creeps closer to me and sometimes touches me.
I have been reading a lot of threads and read a lot about As. I believe she is having an EA because of her privacy with her phone and how she reacted when I went through her phone questioning what I had seen. I do not believe she has had a PA. I am sure a PA would be a deal breaker for me. After reading other threads I am not sure if an EA would be a deal breaker.
Looking back at my mistakes I have realized that my main problems were: Not being affectionate enough Not speaking her love language Not listening to her properly Dismissing her feelings and concerns Jokingly putting her down (we joked around a lot at each other’s expense and while it doesn’t bother me I am sure she might have taken some of the jokes personally) Arguing instead of agreeing
I realize now how that all these things can add up and looking back I believe I could have been emotionally neglecting her. For this reason I am thinking that an EA may be justified on her part. It just depends on how deep the EA is, which I do not know. Hopefully I will find out more in the future.
Anyway today she initiated a discussion about how we will split child care when her and her mom move out in a month. It’s the first time in like 3 weeks we had a relaxed conversation. I listened well and validated her thoughts on the matter. We came to an agreement pretty easily. We even joked around a little and had a laugh (also first time in a month).
I have accepted that this M is over and that maybe we will R in the future and maybe not. I think my detaching is going well because I know that either outcome will be okay. I am really trying to focus on bettering myself and fixing those issues I stated above.
I think she has noticed my detachment because she has seemed far calmer and less cold over the past couple days. I guess I will stay the course and hopefully some light will be shed on the possible EA. I am wondering how things will go when she moves out. It really seemed like she had a tough time when I spent a few days away in a hotel. Anyway lots to do today, talk to you later.
