Living situation - kids nested at home while we stay at friends/family on our days away.
Lawyer - I have spoken to one just as a consult. I got all of my questions answered, and felt relief/confidence walking out.
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24 months prior to BD there was a financial crisis in her family. She grew up wealthy, her dad was a doctor and her mom was a stay at home mom. Nice home, nice cabin, nice beach home. Financial needs always met. Mom wore the pants, dad made the bacon. Problem is mom never knew or wanted to know about finances and just spent, and dad was hiding (in plain sight) they were living paycheck to paycheck and had no equity anywhere. He retired and the shell game collapsed. He revealed to mom that they had nothing and crisis ensued.
Wife resented mom for not being accountable, resented dad for not being accountable, and sister for 'taking, taking, taking' all these years as an adult. They reset their lifestyle and found solid ground, but it's a drastically different lifestyle.
I always shared finances, wanted her to be involved and accountable. We are/were doing fine and building a nice nest egg. Wife shared with my mom prior to BD "we never fight about finances."
I'm not sure if this has anything to do with this situation, but it was definitely traumatic for her and I believe she lost some of her identify because of it.
