In regard to the mortgage, it was in both of our names. It was a way to help establish some credit for H, as he did not grow up in this country, and didn't have established credit.
For me its a big pill to swallow knowing that I made every mortgage payment for 9 years, and then years later BD happens. He didn't want me to sell the house after BD, and when he found out I was going to, he said he would not ask me for any of the money from the sale of it.
H was supposed to call tonight to get the dog since I am working the next 3 days....this should come as no surprise.....he didn't call. I had a feeling he wouldn't.
I know that the last conversation I had with him was pretty pitiful on my part. And yes, I do want him to know how I feel, but as Job has said he does know how I feel, I just need to let him do his thing and figure himself out.
When I do speak to him he sounds so put together and really has himself convinced. Honestly it is almost difficult to listen to him speak because he talks like he knows it all, and that he has everything worked out.
I have told myself that this is going to be difficult, but I have to really LET HIM GO. I now he will struggle but that is part of his journey and I will leave him to it.
This past week after the conversations I had with H, it put me back to a time when I first found out about his affair. He is spewing very similar things just like after BD. What that tells me is he is not in place where he thinks he is, or where I thought he was. This is not a sprint, this is a marathon.
So, enough about him. Things for me are busy. I have some new continuing education that I am working on in order to get my raise in June. I will be traveling out of town for a few conferences in order to meet the requirements for the increase in pay. I am traveling to NC and will be able to see a very good friend of mine on that trip...….so I am looking forward to that. I also have a trip tentatively planned for July to meet up with a few of my girlfriends who I have know for 25+ years.
As always, I appreciate all of the advice that is given to me. I am very stubborn, and obviously am the type of person that when I get a thought in my head I feel like someone needs to know about it...……..and usually that person who I fee like needs to know is H. Not a good choice!!! I will continue to work on letting him go, and do the work that is required of me.
Hope you all have a nice weekend. Here the weather is suppose to be in the mid 80s...….of course I will be at work and wont get to enjoy it
