Quotes found on Divorcebusting (7)

[Ready2Change]

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What is really sinking in with these WW, WAW, MLC, whatever you wish to call them is the audacity of their actions.

If you've ever read posts on other forums by WAW's, it really helps you to realize there are two sides to every story. A lot of women will talk about how absent their H was from the marriage. When we court women we spend a LOT of time with them. If we're not at work then we're with them, or talking to them on the phone, or texting them. They get our undivided attention. We nurture them, support them, fulfill them emotionally, talk about hopes and dreams and the future. Eventually we get married and that's when most men get lazy. She's "in the bag" so there's no longer a need to focus so much attention on her. So we get wrapped up in work, hobbies, kid stuff. We forget her birthday or the anniversary. We barely talk to them. We complain to them instead of talking about hopes and dreams. And we think it's no big deal because "she's my wife, she understands."

Here's the thing, men don't need all that emotional support nonsense, right? Just sex now and then gets the job done. BUT WOMEN DO NEED IT. They need it a LOT, and if they don't get it from us then they WILL eventually seek it out elsewhere. But before that they will start dropping hints. They would tell us, but most of us are so quick to anger that they are afraid to. So they hint instead. We don't take hints very well, we need 2x4's. But they're scared to do that. So they hint and hint and hint and nothing changes. Then they decide to give up and plan their escape. THAT's when we finally get the 2x4 called BD. But by then it's too late to fix all the wrongs that led to their decision.

I hear a lot of language like yours here- "audacity". How dare she do this, destroy the marriage, destroy the family. How can she be such an evil monster. But most WAS's would use the exact same language about their LBS. How dare they mislead me like this, first focus all their energy on me until we get married and then all but abandon me.

Her "truth" is very real and honest and accurate to her just as yours is to you. But here's the trick, you have to set your version aside and try to understand HER truth. If you can be honest with yourself about what YOU did to lead her to this point, THEN you can go on your path of growth.