Wife is having an affair and wants to separate

[sandi2]

I just can't take the thought out of my mind that she felt no remorse for cheating on me.

You set yourself up for disappointment. In spite of what you were told, you still believed the confrontation would evoke remorseful feelings. She's packing up and buying new things for her new life as a single woman. She's not going to feel remorse for some time.

I don't want my wife to think that I am done with her and later if she would like to come back, she should not think that she can't because I closed all the doors.(Though i don't want to give a signal that I will be waiting forever).

You have no idea about the mindset of a WW. I have observed a lot of wayward cases. The H's who practiced what you said in the above quote, couldn't move on b/c they left that old door open. You see, as long as you want her to know you are keeping the door open........your emotions are standing in the doorway with your neck stretched watching to see if there is any movement from her. It does not work in getting her back. In fact, the opposite actions and attitude is much more likely to send the message that she has just put a good man on the market for other women to gobble up. No, I'm not saying you should jump into the dating arena. I'm just saying to let her go. You can still love her, but do it from a distance. She doesn't need to know you carry a torch. The WW is so full of herself that she doesn't really consider completely losing her H. Even if she files for D, she sees him in the background, always there waiting for her just in case she needs him to do something for her. She sees him as being her pal, her old buddy, her errand boy, or whatever. Lots of H's go along with it, thinking she'll eventually change her mind when she sees how loyal he's been. Well, guess what? This does not work with Waywards. So, forget that type of thinking, b/c you are dealing with a different animal.

For many WW's, it is a shock to discover her LBH would actually have the b@lls to dump her. I'm not saying he has to run out and file for a D. He simply drops the emotional rope he has tied to her. He doesn't have to make pronouncements about it. She'll know when he lets go.

She seems so emotionally detached that i feel that she is someone I don't know at all and don't want to be in love also.

You can't imagine just how much she is detached.