Vik, I am currently going through this struggle as we speak but am slightly ahead of you on the process. Trust nothing, NOTHING of what the W says. Trust Sandi, Steve, AS, IHC, and neffer. These WW follow a very similar script. I was worried how it would make my W feel, etc. They don't care about your feelings at all. She isn't respecting you at all. My W isn't/wasn't respecting mine. Detach. Detach. I was detaching and she temp tested me and I was vulnerable and fell for her words. Her actions soon after contradicted them. Detaching again and it becomes easier each time. You will make mistakes or have bumps in the process. Trust the process.
Tell her you know, if that is what you feel. Then let her do what she needs to do. You can't speed up the process. The people here will tell you it is a marathon not a sprint. You can't snap them out of it. If it doesn't work with this OM, there can be another. Go look at the stories or others, some have had multiple APs.
So just focus on yourself and your D. You will get through this. I read the books suggested from Sandi. It is a really good book (NMMNG). There could be a chance she files, maybe not. My W told me 10 different times that she was "DONE" or I want a D and I am yet to see any paperwork.
Don't let her talk to you about relationship. That was my problem, I let her talk and then I would respond. My new approach just implemented (boundary) is no more talking to me unless it is child related until my conditions are met. I point blankly told her that we have no relationship. We aren't H and W, we aren't friends. We are coparents. She reaches out to me, I just respond back if it is children related. She is looking at apartments. I told her to not ask me for help. Find someone else to discuss because we don't have a relationship.
Be strong, focus on yourself and children. Fix what you need to fix (the W will say everything is your fault). It isn't all your fault. You faults are part of the problem but don't assume all the burden of what has happened. Don't worry if she will walk away. You can't control what she does. As my BIL says, the only person in life that you are stuck with for certainty is yourself. Work on yourself. Be a man a fool would want to leave.
